Yesterday, the idea of not doing things out of the fear of being cringe has found its way to me. Twice. First on a newsletter, then on an Instagram post. When I see a repetition that may look like a sign from the universe, I pay attention to it. And this one actually made sense. If there’s one thing I’m afraid of is being cringe. I’ve always avoided it. I still do. And I’ve realized that the more I avoid it, the less things I do. I don’t release that song I wrote because it’s not up to my standards, I don’t make music because I’m “blocked”, I don’t publish that post because it doesn’t represent me, etc.
But whenever I see others doing things, I’m assaulted by these feelings of guilt for not doing things too. I am reminded of the finitude of my existence. Do I just want to exist and consume? Do I not want to leave my perpetual mark in this world, i.e through art? I have so much to say and a unique perspective on the world. So why don’t I do it more? And the answer might be as simple as “because I don’t have to”.
I don’t. Literally no one will reprimand me if I don’t show up to create and express myself. Not a boss, not my spiritual guides, not my parents. There’s no material obligation, duty, commitment. And because I already have to meet those obligations and duties to survive, making art and expressing myself becomes secondary. It becomes a “if there’s time” activity. But the less I do it, the less fulfilled my soul is. And fulfillment of the soul is the purpose of life to me.
I don’t take making art lightly. Especially today, where you have millions of consistent people making, technically, good things. It’s easy to say “What’s the point? They all do it better.”
The wise inner voice tells me “but no one does it like you. It’s your unique voice.” There’s no competition in art and expression. You have 70, 80 years on this Earth as yourself if you’re lucky. Leave a record of that time. Everyone is cringe until they’re not. So, do it. Whatever it is you can do to become perpetual.