Six months past my last post, I’m writing again. I have done a lot, and yet I have the feeling that I have done nothing at all. Suddenly, my life was put on hold due to a health issue.
I had already struggled with vestibular migraine for a couple years where I did not always get a headache, but got dizziness and vertigo on and off. However, earlier this year, apparently due to excessive screen time and a few other motives of stress, I developed a neuro-optical hypersensitivity, where the visual cortex of my brain is essentially chronically hyperexcited.
The combination of blue light, invisible high-frequency screen flicker (PWM), and intense contrast act as physical overload for my nervous system giving me symptoms of severe pain in my eyes, dry eyes, blurry vision, migraines, brain fog, exhaustion, and depression). My brain interprets digital visual data as real physical pain, a phenomenon known as ictal or interictal photophobia.
The first stage of this was complete burnout where I couldn’t even decide normal life things. I couldn’t go to places with a lot of noise, or with many people, or stare at a TV screen or my phone for five seconds. I woke up with migraine every day. My eyes hurt, my head hurt, my mood was all over. I tried to rest and retreat to the country side but after a week of returning home, the migraines were back. I feared having to resort to medication for the side effects they could bring, but I had no other choice. Doctors suggested migraine preventives, anti-epileptics and anti-depressants. I accepted, of course.
After doing a series of exams, an MRI and blood tests where results came back normal, all that was left for me to do was do what I could. Eat timely meals, sleep well, return to physical exercise as regularly as possible, take walks, do vestibular rehabilitation, take medication and go to the “screen-gym”. Progressively expose myself to digital screens without going past my window of tolerance that day.
These types of drugs take time to take effect and even though it’s very frustrating how slow it is to see changes in the brain, I am significantly better. I can now comfortably watch TV or write an email. I can be on the computer for maybe 20 minutes without a break. It’s not full recovery but it’s also no longer “I have no capacity to think or open my eyes and face light”.
I’m currently facing the screen (yay!) wearing orange-tinted glasses for extra protection and, even with slow improvements, feeling overall optimistic about my recovery. Time will tell, though, how much longer it’ll take for me to be able to go back to designing, working and feeling completely normal.
I had no idea how severe things could get when I continued to extend screen time past the reasonable. Mea culpa. If anything, this was a lesson to take breaks and go outside religiously and to not neglect my health.
Screens are awesome, in moderation.